How to photograph a new puppy...

1/ Remove film from box and load camera

2/ Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

3/ Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle

4/ Choose suitable background for photo

5/ Mount camera on tripod and focus

6/ Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth

7/ Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera

8/ Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees

9/ Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand

10/ Get tissue and clean nose print from lens

11/ Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

12/ Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose

13/ Put magazines back on coffee table

14/ Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head

15/ Replace your glasses and check camera for damage

16/ Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say "No, outside! No, outside!"

17/ Call spouse to clean up mess

18/ Fix a drink

19/ Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning

From http://www.kuddlemee.freeserve.co.uk/